Welcome to a New Day, a New Beginning!
          For most of my life I had the same issues to deal with re Life that most people of the world have. I had the same fears for my childrenís welfare & their safety, their happiness; thoughts re my life, & what did I really want to accomplish before I died; concerns re other people in the world not as fortunate as we in America are to live in freedom, & wishing I could help them more. What was the purpose of what we all go through as we live our lives? On 8-12-91 I started to get answers in the most extraordinary way!
         
          Iím this ordinary woman, divorced, remarried mother, grandmother, homemaker, senior citizen, etc., who is now experiencing the Peace, Love, and Joy, the Heaven on Earth weíve read about in the Bible! It seems like Secrets of the Universe to me, but maybe not so to some of you. Whatever works for you! I never ask or expect anyone to believe one word of what Iím being taught & have written about! My only purpose is to pass on as the messenger what Iíve experienced, & what Concepts Iím being taught from inside since I crossed over in 1991. I hope it may also give you some answers, & help you on your own journey. First hereís my story, in a brief version.
         
          In 1983 I was married, had 3 wonderful children, & was enjoying my life so much! Being  with the family, traveling, going to concerts, playing tennis & racquetball, jogging, lifting weights., being with friends, etc. I had no clue what was ahead for me!  Then after a self-exam I was shocked to find I had breast cancer, my first bout. After the tears, I remember saying to the doctor & nurse that if I only had six weeks to live, they would be the best six weeks of my life! I let go of fear of dying that day! Later, I also remember thinking as I was in the hospital that I am a healthy, strong woman, who has exercised, taken care of myself, & I have one little spot of cancer that is a problem! The rest of me is just fine! I didnít feel like a victim at all, & I sure didnít want people to feel sorry for me! I felt I was going into battle against the cancer, & my weapons were the love for & from God, my family & friends, my positive thoughts, my uplifting books like Guideposts, & tapes with my beautiful music that were always a joy to me! I didnít even want to talk to women that had negative stories to share about cancer!  I felt I had to stay positive throughout my own illness! I had a lumpectomy, & radiation & got back to as normal a life as I could, with follow-ups, of course. Six years later it came back again, same place, tiny lump. Another lumpectomy & more follow-ups. Two years later came the 3rd bout of breast cancer. I couldnít believe it! The terror I felt was unbearable! I wasnít afraid of dying, I gave that up in 1983! I was afraid of pain! I knew someone who had died a painful lingering cancer death, & I thought that might be me! I couldnít share these fears with my family, since they already were so stressed out with it being back again, so the only One I could turn to again, as I always did my whole life, was God. A week before the surgery I totally surrendered from the bottom of my heart & soul! It felt like I was standing on the San Francisco Bridge & God is saying, ďJump, Iíll catch you.Ē & I did! I completely ďlet goĒ. I felt peace wash over me & I slept like a baby all week. God was in control now, so no need to worry! Little did I know what an awesome, beyond belief, event was ahead for me!
         
          On August l2, l99l, I came out of surgery from my 3rd bout of breast cancer. I awoke in the recovery room & I was extremely sick from the anesthetic. I heard a crystal clear Inner Voice tell me not to look at the needles, the blood, & all the tubes. Think about vacations, positive things, & I would obey, fall asleep & wouldnít be sick. The same thing kept happening every time I awoke. Within two days, this euphoria set in that lasted two months. I experienced all kinds of spiritual things, such as a feeling of 24 hour a day total Peace, Joy that had nothing to do with my surroundings, but came from inside me, Love of Humanity, & Love of God beyond comprehension. A feeling I have no needs, the search is over, I found it, & itís all inside me! There was an awareness that God had been hiding in there all along, just waiting for the right moment to make His Presence known! Also all fear was gone completely! Bible phrases also popped in my mind! ďAsk & you shall receive, seek & you will find, knock & the door will open.Ē was one. There was an awareness of a Bigger Picture & all manner of ďknowingĒ of spiritual things, such as this incredible thing happening to me had nothing to do with religion. It was a spiritual journey between God & myself, & had been happening to humanity since time began. It also felt like I had crossed over a bridge & I was this toddler on the spiritual side now. There were people on the bridge, people at the beginning of the bridge, & people who didnít even see the bridge, & it was my job to help them all cross over. This was the very strong Call to Service that washed over me. I could not stop talking about the Peace, Love, & Joy to every person I met in the hospital & after! The cancer issue was totally irrelevant! As for the Inner Voice, it took me two years later to realize the Inner Voice I was hearing was the same voice Iíd heard in my mind my whole life whenever I had a thought, & that voice was God! The reason I didnít recognize, at first, the Voice as my thoughts, was that my mind was totally blank after the surgery instead of a million thoughts going on like I had when I first went into surgery, so it seemed different, like it was coming from inside, outside, everywhere!
         
          Some of the family & friends were having a very difficult time with this new turn of events happening to me, to say the least! At times I also thought I might be crazy, but the ďnot of this worldĒ Peace, Love, & Joy sustained me! Also a few dear friends just believed me, & I will be forever grateful for their kindness & support!
         
          The next major extraordinary thing that happened was on December 25, l99l, at 4:30 A.M.  I was awakened with this incredible Energy flowing through me from the tip of my toes through my entire body, & radiating off my fingertips like I could touch someone & heal them in an instant! It felt like waves of love, including a spontaneous orgasm, & I was totally shocked to say the least! I had never experienced anything remotely like this in my entire life! Itís one thing to have these thoughts going on about the Peace, Love, & Joy, but when things start happening to your body that you have no control over whatsoever, it really is a shock! Multiple mild orgasms would occur spontaneously for months as I drifted in & out of sleep also, which I also found out later were part of the chakra opening for that area. Later a dear girlfriend told me that it was known in ancient eastern religions as a Kundalini awakening that has a seven chakra system. I had no knowledge of any of this, as Iíve never studied other religions. The Kundalini Energy continues to this day off & on spontaneously when Iím totally relaxed and centered, but very infrequently. Most of the spiritual activity such as this, & the visions etc. happened within the first few years after I crossed over. When the Energy is going, it feels like my skin has this translucent covering over it. Other times there are also colors that appear when my eyes are closed & Iím totally relaxed. Itís mostly purple, which is the Crown chakra, & some other color, usually yellow or green. Iíve also seen white alternating with the purple. The chakras have seven colors, & also resonate to the seven notes of the musical scale, so obviously color & music appear to be real in the spirit world too. In Christian terms itís known as the 2nd part of the baptism with the Holy Spirit, the baptism with fire that happened to the Apostles before they could go out to preach. Whatís known as the 3rd eye is also opening, but only partially, again only when Iím totally relaxed & centered. Itís like a ďknowingĒ when it does & like nothing else I see. I also have seen what Iím told is Christís face, & sometimes just the eye of the Christ alternating with the purple pulsing chakra color. A couple of years ago in 2005 or 2006, I experienced another new thing happening a few times over the course of a few months, when I closed my eyes, yet could ďseeĒ as when I see the chakra colors, the 3rd eye, etc. I saw a large pale serpent! It took me a few minutes to figure out what it was because it was so close, with its mouth open, & scales on its body! Sometimes I only saw a portion of it, always the same pale color. It wasnít scary to me at all, since I was relaxed & in the Peace, & knew this was another spiritual event being presented to me, just like the Christ face or chakra colors. It was amazing! One of the chakra books talks about the various animals represented by each one, & for the 7th chakra it says the animal is a serpent!
         
          I am also to report various things going on in the body that are new & unusual, which also have to do with the chakras/Kundalini Energy. Most of these things happened the most frequently in the early years of the spiritual awakening. For example, one thing was a vibration in the lower part of the body when I was totally centered & relaxed in the Peace. Then it moved to the right foot for a while, then the fingers, which is the more frequent place now. It appears to have a cycle. Iíve read about this happening to some people in my spiritual books Iím guided to--Eight Fold path I think itís called. Another new thing happened physically years ago. There was a rollover action in my solar plexus area, which is the 3rd chakra, that was going on for months, again only when I was totally relaxed & centered. Anything that goes on when I am totally relaxed & at Peace are to me spiritual signposts that Iím to report & record in the journal. I have no idea what all this is doing to my body, but I think itís to transform it, as Iíve read in the spiritual books. Also at times the adrenaline kicks into high gear for no reason, & that also appeared to be a weekly cycle years ago. Most of these symptoms only came periodically, especially years ago, again depending on where I was in the Peace. I guess more remodeling of the body going on. Only God knows, & I trust that! Iím just to report it, for some reason. I do get clues from some of the spiritual books though, & that helps me to understand the process a little better. Again, I couldnít ask any doctors, since they probably would think some illness was the reason. This whole journey was just between God & I, & I just surrendered to that.
         
          I was guided to the autobiography of Gopi Krishna, a noted author who also had a Kundalini awakening. He describes his body as being changed inside by a Force (God) that appeared to have a predetermined pattern it was following to prepare it for higher states of consciousness, which he experienced. He wrote about his experiences for over 40 years in his books. Maybe thatís what God is doing here to me, but it really doesnít matter--the surrender is so complete & total. From what I have read though, my Kundalini awakening was really smooth, & the physical symptoms very mild, compared to so many others! I am very grateful for that!
         
          I also experienced the Dark Night of the Soul, but it was only one night, which isnít the norm according to the spiritual books. Also not nearly as frightening as other accounts I have read! Again, Iím so very grateful for that!
         
          I was guided to keep a journal of everything thatís happened to me, human & spiritual, since 1991. The confusion, the tears, the lessons Iím going through, & the Concepts Iím being taught, but always at the core of my being is the experience of the Joy, Peace, & Love from God that never leaves! That core experience has sustained me through it all, such as when others felt maybe I was crazy or even I did, or whatever, or when God would guide me in some unexpected way to lessons that brought tears & confusion re money or relationship problems, or whatever else was happening in my life! I would just turn to God in Faith & Trust! There was no one else to turn to who would understand, no one else to ask for advice. It was such an unusual way of being now!

          I also was hospitalized for two weeks, a year into the journey, when some of the family thought I was Bi-Polar, since I was still hearing an Inner Voice, & talking about Peace, Love, & Joy! That wasnít normal! I was put on 6 drugs to stop all this nonsense! When the doctor asked what had happened since I last talked to him, he would hear about the latest vision! God got me thru it & I finally got to go back home & get off the drugs!
    
          Iím guided to now address the Inner Voice as Father. I understand that there are many names for God, but this is just what is presented to me at this time for my own journey. Heís told me that the journal is a teaching tool, which is why Iím being guided to put it on the Internet, & possibly publish the story too. Itís a diary of a spiritual awakening, with some prophecy such as my own motherís death even.

          I also have experienced some visions which had a burst of Energy at the end of them! I was told that the Energy was giving me more power, strange as that sounds! Another vision was on Easter morning, 1997. I was guided to unzip my body like it was a costume, & was shown a Being of Light & Energy with a human shape. I was told that was me! My spirit! It was so awesome, I cried & cried in joy! That is who each of you are! Then in another of the earlier visions Iím standing at a podium, & was told Iíd be speaking of all this! That sure wasnít something I looked forward to doing, ever! However, as these years have gone by, I adjusted to the fact that it might happen, & it did in May & June of 2001 before two small Hospice groups, when I was a Hospice volunteer! After telling my story since 1991, & the lessons & Concepts Iím being taught, I finally feel Iím ready, but I also have ďlet goĒ re when or if it will ever happen again! I realize Iím just the messenger, the vehicle God is using. My only purpose is to help people, whether thatís publicly or anonymously, it doesnít matter! I was hoping for anonymously, but as you can see that wasnít how it was guided to be! These Concepts have helped me so much to get answers to the ďBig Picture, the ďPuzzle of LifeĒ. Maybe by passing them on, they will in turn help everyone else on their own journey. I just obey what Iím guided to do, accept completely what Iím taught, trust God completely, & have complete faith in God. Iím already Home in my heart & soul!

          Itís been such a gradual step by step process that Iím not sure when this belief or that was firmly planted in my conscious mind. Itís all documented in the journal as it came through spontaneously, & I donít question, I just believe & report it. For me though, all the pieces fit & itís all such a simple concept! All is God! Everything in the world & Universe breaks down to Energy, vibrations, & the Energy of the world & Universe is Love! Also color & music are part of the spiritual! Iíll try & condense all these years of teaching. Please bear in mind some of these Concepts were not the way I thought my whole life till 1991 when the spiritual awakening occurred, & the lessons in new awareness began! However, I was always open minded about issues like is there a devil or not, or is there reincarnation or not, etc.

          Iím now taught there is no devil, no evil, only fear, which is also of God. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, truth or lies. That sure didnít make sense to me at all at first either! What about all the murders, the torture in the concentration camps, the wars that went on! Now Iím taught this world is illusion, which is also talked about in A Course in Miracles. I was guided to think of it all like weíre actors in a play & God is the creator, the director, & producer of the play. We donít get upset or outraged with the actors we see on tv or in movies who murder someone. A few movies even addressed that storyline! God is trying to teach us a new way of looking at this world, & He does that thru every means available, so easily that we donít ever realize it! Thru books, video games, music, science, etc. Another way to picture it is like a dream that is so realistic. We are still in the dream! When you see the world that way, as I do now, you see that in the bigger picture all that we go through, or do, is only for lessons in awareness, to bring that awareness from the subconscious level, which knows all, to the conscious level. We are truly spirit! The body is a shell. All the things that happen to the body are of the physical world, just for the lessons, & are of no concern to spirit, which is only Love.
 
          From the beginning in 1991, I was taught everything is God. Ten years ago He added that we have no free will either! None, as a human!  (That was a shocker for me too!) Iím taught our destiny is all planned completely! Everything happening is fate, meant to happen exactly as it does. Divine Right Order itís called in the spiritual books. God is our every thought, our every emotion, our every action. All is God, in a literal sense, not only spiritual. He has been in disguise in our body all along, but we just werenít aware of it! As I said, that awareness of Him literally possessing my body was another thing that came in the hospital August 12, l991! A complete Oneness with God that was so awesome and unbelievable! Our thoughts are our highest creations & we create our world with them, but of course, God is guiding us to have the thought in the first place! Iím constantly verifying this inside, & the answer keeps coming back, ďNo free will Pat.Ē All is God! So simple! That we have no free will as humans appears to be a major hurdle for most people to accept as true! I just accept & believe.

          Along with this new Concept that God plans it all, is responsible for it all, for me came release then of past regrets, or ďmistakesĒ I thought I made. No mistakes, coincidences or accidents! Iíve heard people tell of a moment in time that changed their life forever, & those people wish they could go back, change the past, do it over with a different result. Sometimes it was someoneís death they thought they could have prevented. My guidance is to let it go! Iím taught that it happened in the exact way & in the exact moment that God meant for it to happen! Remember, every single thing that you have ever experienced led you to become the person you are today & was necessary for that to happen! Love who you are Now! For me also came release from concern re whatís ahead in the future! God has the plan, I donít! What Iím left with then is, of course, release of concern re today also! That leaves me free to live in the NOW & ďJust BeĒ & share the Love that is our Essence! Iím sure not saying that to release concerns is an easy thing to do, because the human side is used to the ďoldĒ way, & sometimes Iíve felt I need to ďdoĒ something re a situation! Eventually I just let go, (the magic word!) & guidance comes through to help me. Because of this belief that God is doing it all, there also follows no judgement of anyone no matter how bizarre or mean their behavior is perceived by others. God in them is just guiding them through their lessons! Not our problem, not our business! We canít see the ďBig PictureĒ or the higher purpose re it all! Weíll be guided by our thoughts if action is to be taken. Thatís how changes occur to better humanity such as thru new laws, etc. The guidance is still the same for us, with our thoughts, but itís just an awareness now of Whom is really doing it all, & has been all along! God!

          Iíve actually felt the Presence inside of God! We are God! God is us! Iím also told now, that we are perfect! Iím told that we are not sinners & never have been. When I asked re what about the Bible saying we are, I was told we were guided to think that for the lessons we needed to learn at that stage of our spiritual development. Iím told we actually are of the angelic line now & crossed over when Jesus died 2000 years ago. I crossed over on August 12, 1991, & Iím also told exactly one year later, on August l2, l992 everyone else crossed over to this next step up, spiritual evolution, Peace, Love, and Joy, Heaven Now, that I did. Iím told itís because all it takes is for one to cross over & everyone else will automatically follow because we are all One. A Course in Miracles, which I was guided to later, also teaches we are all One, & perfect.

          Another lesson came in Oct. l999 when we were in Daytona for bike week! I was guided to not look at anyone directly, unless I was talking to him or her! Instead I was to see them peripherally, & visualize them as ďBeings of LightĒ. No faces, no bodies that separate us from each other. When I did that, we are all identical! All spirit! It was really difficult, & I had to really concentrate, but I was able to do that one whole day in Florida. I find Iím back to the ďoldĒ normal way of seeing people, so it must not be time to change completely, if that ever was the goal! I was told Iím to get to the point where I can see past their bodies and not notice if theyíre fat or thin or beautiful or black or white, man or woman! We are all Beings of Light, period! The body is illusion. Of course, whom we are inside is all that matters anyway!

          Another major lesson was re ďletting goĒ, detachment re things of this world. Besides with the body, Iíve also gotten to the point re detachment in re to scenery, nature. Now what I used to see as so beautiful, & still do, Iím reminded over & over, ďItís not real. Itís all illusion.Ē If I express an opinion re a particularly lovely scene, Iím to add inside, ĒBut I know itís not real.Ē If I donít remember that & get rolling with a conversation, & I make comments about the beautiful this or that, or the great food, etc., after a while Iím reminded in a very unique way! It reminds me immediately what I have said! Very effective teaching tool! God says the reason for this is since our thoughts circulate, Iím told I lend credence to the illusion every time I express an opinion re anything of this physical world, so no opinions! I try to obey the best I can!!

          That of course includes food too! Thereís a detachment re it now. What Iím guided to eat has also changed a lot in the last eight years. Iím guided to far more fruits, some veggies, & more protein from boiled eggs, & meats. Far less carbs. One spiritual book talked of some foods having a higher vibration, so maybe thatís why. Mind you, the guidance came from inside re the diet, not from any books I read! The importance of food was a very difficult item for me to detach about, as I did turn to it for comfort most of my life! Only regular exercise over the years, & some discipline kept me from becoming overweight! I also tried smoking, & drinking alcohol years ago as a teenager, but didnít like either so I didnít continue. Iíll sip a tiny glass of wine for a toast though. If it tasted like chocolate, Iíd have been in trouble though! I love chocolate!

           Iím taught there is reincarnation & Iíve only had 25 reincarnations, which is not many at all, according to the spiritual books. Iím told that Jesus, all the saints, all the apostles, & other great spiritual leaders from the past are all here in human form for this momentous spiritual leap up by mankind. In 1994 I was told which of these people I am/was, which God said is the reincarnation of Jesus! My thoughts were, ok, if You say so, but I sure wonít share that with anyone else! The Course in Miracles says the name ďJesusĒ is just another name for ďlove not of this worldĒ. Anyway, I thought God meant in a collective way, as we are all One. He said no, as an individual soul I am the reincarnation of Jesus. That still is really an unbelievable, difficult statement for me to make or fathom, but a few years ago the guidance was crystal clear itís vitally necessary that Iím to believe & accept itís true. There were buckets of tears over the months & years when I was told that I had to announce that! People already maybe thought I was crazy from the spiritual awakening, & now Iím to announce that Iím Jesus reincarnated! No Way! Then new information re me revealing my role as Jesus came through as necessary for the Bible prophecies to come true. Years later God really stopped me in my tracks when I also was told there will even be ďsignsĒ to somehow show I am Jesus!  I laughed & said ďMaybe Iíll float away or something!Ē To help me, Iím guided to not refer back to how Jesus was 2,000 years ago, & what extraordinary things he did, but picture the role I have today in this lifetime. Iím just the messenger! I just pass on information from inside from God! Thatís helped me so much! I realized itís like all Iíve been taught since 1991. Thereís no middle ground here. I just believe whatever God is teaching me. No doubts! Itís totally a faith & trust thing. So simple & child like! Again, why wouldnít I? Iím experiencing the Peace, Love, & Joy people have been searching for! As near as I can figure, I thought the main purpose of God pushing for me to accept & announce that Iím Jesus reincarnated, besides the bible prophecies, was that if people do believe it, then theyíll accept the Concepts Iím taught as true, & it will help them. Now He says another major thing is that people need a miracle to help them. Iím to be Transfigured, which Heís mentioned before years back in the journal. I think that means filled with Light, & again maybe everyone will experience this when I do! Another bit of information I canít comprehend, just report!

          Since 1991, all through what Iíve written in the journal are clues God would give me re this role I have. For example, Iím told I came by a different route. Also Iím told Iím a mutant, the example out front, & Iím a mystic, plus so many other things. The only thing is, I still feel like the same me I was before God told me all this information about myself!  A sense of humor is definitely needed here! Up till now I just kind of ignored it all re me being ďJesusĒ, & told very few people. Again, it seemed too far out, too confusing! It was not much different than if He said I was flying to the moon tomorrow! I just couldnít comprehend it, so how could others? I just wrote everything down & moved on. Now Heís saying, ďItís time.Ē I guess you could say Iím coming out of the closet. Just do it! Let everyone think what they will! God loves me & I love me, even if not another person in the world does! I do want to impress though that all my life till 1991, I had no clue my life was heading in this direction! Totally in the dark, & really still am! Iíll find out about all this far out stuff God says will happen to me at the same time all of you do! Again, Iím to ďJust Be.Ē
 
          Iíve also been told who a few other people I know are/were, such as saint this or that. Each of you reading this now may be the reincarnation of St. Francis or St.Teresa or some other famous spiritual leader! Of course I do believe the Dalai Lama is the reincarnation of the past Dalai Lama. Regardless, in a way I find it irrelevant really because Iím also taught all that matters is Now, & Now Iím Pat, period, & everyone is whomever they are! Anyway I find it all very interesting information! Iím told Iím still a toddler at this stage of spiritual evolution, so I feel God presents these Concepts to me in a very simple, easy for me to understand way right now. As I grow in spiritual awareness, new Concepts may yet come through. I also feel that there is so much that I do ďunawareĒ that helps others, such as when Iím guided to touch someone on the arm, that God is keeping hidden from me, for now, for some reason! When I have asked inside, He verifies that is true.

          I also had a dream where the interpretation was I would have the stigmata. Another dream was where there was blood on my hands, & I had splinters in them, & it signified the Crucifixion. I also realize we all go through birth & death cycles on our spiritual journey that are symbolic crucifixions.
 
          Periodically I see a white light, an aura, around objects too, when I look peripherally at them. In 1992 I also saw a vision of the famous picture of an angel with two children by a bridge, & was told it was signifying my Guardian Angel, after she spoke to me, saying, ďMy dear, sweet, little one.Ē Strange stuff, but so awesome! Another time a proclamation voice said ďPrepare for the goodness of God.Ē & ďThis is my beloved son---.ď There are more things like that in my journal too.

         I crossed over by completely surrendering, letting go, just as some of the saints described, & I have been guided since to continue to let go of everything in this physical world. I think I have, & I documented it in the journal as each issue came up to be let go of. The lesson to be learned by the letting go was to always know God is first. Whatever I was clinging to of this world, even if it was my own child, such as my dear Jenny before she passed, was an idol. God may give you fame, power, money, whatever your heart desires, or He also may lead you to drugs, gambling, & other addictions etc. for the highs youíre experiencing, again always for you to learn that none of that was the answer! Love, God inside you was what you were searching for all along! Everything you need is inside you right now! When we have tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, fires, etc. that destroy property, that is also God taking away material things we thought we couldnít live without! All thatís left of value is Love! For me the lesson also was that I have faith in God taking care of whatever I need. Then Iím told it will all be returned to me more wonderful than I can imagine! Thatís where I am now! Iíll have a thought of some small heartsí desire, then let it go, & within an hour or day, I find it in a store or whatever. Where years ago I would wish on a star, now there is nothing to wish for! God has it all taken care of! It is so awesome! I use that term awesome a lot because the AWESOMENESS of it all, & what Iím feeling inside never leaves me for one moment! I feel so blessed & it makes me cry! By the way, tears also seem to be very important, & after their release, whether happy or sad ones, I always go higher in the light in awareness.

          I do have to make something very clear. Iíve been guided to a small collection of spiritual books, & then guided to reread them over & over as I progress, or buy a few new ones here & there, but always everything is taught me first from inside! Then Iím guided to a book or person that explains it further. A small monthly booklet called The Daily Word from Unity was a major help to me, & like a lifeline at times, & still is!  The wonder of all this is that all of this that is happening to me has been going on spontaneously since the beginning in 1991! I wasnít searching for anything! I would just turn to God with my pain & suffering & ask for His help! I had no idea someone could experience a spiritual awakening, or what it felt like! I just had always believed in God & Jesus, & turned to each in prayer all of my life. I still donít meditate, donít search for books, or answers to the mystery of life! It just all comes through on itís own from inside when itís time! The inner guidance is crystal clear! I donít study any ancient religions, yet I recognize, & have been told, some of these thoughts inside I experience, & Concepts Iím taught are New Age, Taoism, Buddhism, Hindu, etc. but for me they are based on Christianity. I come from a Protestant background, & my earliest remembrance is being in Bible School & singing ďJesus loves me, this I know, etc.Ē & really that was my faith my whole life! Very simple! Jesus loves me! Later I turned Catholic before I married because I believe in the Blessed Virgin & the saints. Now I feel I carry my church with me everywhere I go, so I donít attend any specific church! Once in a while Iím guided to one, but always feel God had some higher purpose for me being guided to this specific one at that time. For example, a few years ago a girlfriend asked me to come to a monthly meeting at the Catholic Church in Plainfield, & she put my name on a list as a potential speaker re my story. As a few months went by, I shared my story with some of the people there & then the meetings were cancelled, so I didnít speak to the whole group after all.

          I also feel God is teaching me very selectively what He wants me to know for this role of messenger. Of course, this is true of everyone! They just may not be as aware of it as I am now. We each have our own soulís purpose that only we can accomplish, even if itís a baby that only lives two months! That baby still touched other peopleís lives in itís brief time here, so the lessons are then for those people. Iím taught when that soul completes itís purpose, or ďMissionĒ, that person dies in that moment in the exact way God planned for him or her to die. As I said, there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mistakes!

          New perceptions come through as Iím moved along, but the majority of the basic Concepts have been in place for years. A few years ago it came through that although letting go was how I crossed over, & I was guided to let go re everything of this physical world, even letting go is an action! Now Iím to ďJust BeĒ, period. My faith is unshakable that God has it all under control & everything will be more wonderful than I could ever dream! Then as God guides me to think that way, it is like self-fulfilling that it happens that way! Creating with God! Thus I see it already happening in my life! The feeling that Iím Home! Iím Home! is so joyful & comforting I canít even describe it, yet it isnít here on earth! I can hardly wait to ďwalk thru that door into the Light!Ē It also feels like there is no separation between my human side & my spiritual side in my daily life now.

          A few years back I also experienced a feeling of just melting into God, & there was no me! It just felt so right, & no sense of loss at all! Then one of the books I was guided to talked of this being a goal to strive for, yet it again happened to me spontaneously! Regardless, all that matters for me now is this indescribable Love for & from God. Things re the spiritual have mellowed out with no new visions lately, & the Kundalini Energy isnít coursing through my body as frequently. Not so much the high highs & the low lows as the first few years. For me now itís more of a growing into the role as messenger with all these extraordinary things happening to me. Thereís a feeling He is fine tuning me now for the role of messenger. He said the passing of my daughter, Jenny, was a major event I needed to experience to better prepare me to be of help to others for the messenger role. The grief was & still is indescribable. Now Iím just waiting in the Peace for whatever. Just Being!

          Iím told that since Iím a pure channel & feel only Love for everyone, Energy flows through me everywhere I go, which awakens the Christ Light in others. Of course Iím not aware of that happening, but I am always aware of some higher purpose going on, even if Iím just guided to the grocery store at a particular time. Of course, everyone has this Energy so this very well may be true of everyone else too! There is cause & effect going on at all times with everything, kind of like the ripple effect when a stone is thrown in the water. Amazing how God orchestrates this ďplayĒ that we are all actors in!

          Recently, Iíve been guided to not distinguish between negative & positive thoughts, but just to recognize they are all just Godís thoughts, just as every book is the word of God! A lot of people will probably have trouble with that thought! I totally believe everything is for good, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. As I said, my Faith & Trust in God is unshakable! I believe thatís why I can be of help to others when theyíre going through their pain & fears. Maybe my message will bring them hope. Iíve been down that road & lived it, & now I see the Big Picture & beyond, & whatís actually going on in this physical world of illusion. God recently popped in that Iím a ďspiritual counselorĒ, & I find that I am using the Concepts He has taught me to help family & friends when they become confused or down. That really feels like that is what my purpose is now. Help others however I can! So simple! Really I just remind them what they already know inside, but maybe have briefly forgotten!
 
          Iíve actually reached the point where Iím so thankful for all the tears, the pain, the cancer, & all the traumas I went through! Iím sure not saying that while youíre in the trauma you think that way! All I mean is that later you recognize the spiritual growth & good meant to come out of the whole experience! The lessons Iíve learned I could never have learned any other way! They made me strong, made me turn to God, guided me to Self Love, led me to the spiritual awakening, & were necessary at this stage of my journey! Looking back over my life it now seems to me that God had me experience all the pain & traumas, but all along He was doing it in as gentle a way as He could. I feel so incredibly loved, cared for, and protected.

          Again, I want to stress, that so much of what Iím told re myself may very well be true of everyone! I have no way of knowing, & it doesnít matter. My journey is my journey & each of yours is your own, & weíre all heading into the Light, the Love, Home with God!

          God has just prompted me to add another addition to this story, a more personal insight re myself. While all these incredible spiritual experiences & Concepts were going on since 1991, I was also, to all appearances, leading a normal, everyday life of a wife, mother, grandmother, etc. It felt like I had one foot here on earth & the other in the spiritual realm! As of right now, my life involves the same things a lot of women do. I sometimes work a part time job, & I enjoy cooking dinners for my husband, doing laundry, baking, decorating my home, doing yard work, & exercising at home daily, & at the gym, when I have time. I love being with my oldest daughter, & her family weekly or more often whenever possible, & visiting whenever possible with my son & his family who live out of state. I also enjoy shopping, keeping in touch with dear friends, & babysitting for my two youngest grandchildren. I have eight grandchildren all together & they are such joys in my life! My husband & I have a Harley also, so we go on vacations to biker events like Sturgis and Daytona, plus other places we love to visit with our van. Music has always been a major influence & joy in my life, with lyrics like a diary! God even communicates with me sometimes with messages, such as using a certain song title or lyric over & over, usually first thing in the morning when I awake, till I ask inside re the message He wants me to receive! There are also other ways He communicates to me that are unique! An itchy eye means there is something I need to ďseeĒ more clearly, or anything out of the ordinary happening, like I break a dish, means something unexpected will happen soon! Prophesy stuff I guess. I donít know why we go thru this round about way of communicating, when He could just say what He means right out! Itís funny the way He gets the message to me, but Iím used to it by now, as my husband will attest to! We laugh about it all! We also love going to concerts to see blues or rock artists! Mainly, I just love being with my beloved family, which also includes my ex & his wife, as much as possible! My point is Iím dealing with all the same situations & issues in my daily life as the everyday woman, but because of the spiritual awakening I react to every situation, even traumatic ones which seldom happen now, with a totally new awareness & understanding, based on the Peace, Love, & Joy, inside me now. The goal Iím taught every day now is just ďStay in the PeaceĒ. Any little irritation that comes up, Iím guided immediately to look at it with new perception, & get back to the Peace! Again, so simple! God is mind training me/us! I notice the heart chakra & throat chakra are kicking in more frequently as I stay focused on the Peace.

          The main thing Iím guided to pass on to others now to try & help them is for them to use Grateful Thoughts as a tool in every situation in their life! For example ďI am so grateful I have the perfect job NowĒ, or ďI found the perfect gift NowĒ. Even if it isnít apparent yet, that starts the ball rolling for it to happen! It works for anything you can think of! It sure has for me in such extraordinary ways! Wait till you see the results of that working in your Life! Then after you receive a result from any grateful, positive thoughts you sent out, send out a thank you to God for it happening! That is recognizing God as the source of everything!
   
          I also want to thank from the bottom of my heart all my beautiful family & dear friends for standing by me through this journey Iím on that Iím sure has been at times very difficult for them to understand & comprehend! Hopefully things will become clearer for them as time passes.

          Well, that about wraps it up for this messenger for now. As you can see the guidance has come to finally get it on the Internet with my own Website. I was reluctant to do this, since I am not computer knowledgeable, & self-taught, but it got done with Godís directions! Iím finally learning the computer! As more information comes through Iíll write it in my journal & if its important new things, also pass it on. Prophesy wise, Iíve been told years ago that there will be six books, but I do feel tv or speaking in front of large groups would be the most effective, efficient way to get the Concepts out. A few months ago God said another very effective way to get out some brief Concepts would be ads in newspapers! I never thought of that! I also like those billboard signs along major interstates that could have a brief message about my website. However the Concepts can get out to the world to help everyone! God has said Iíll never guess what His plan is for the message to get out, & since He constantly surprises me I have no doubt of that statement! In 2004 I found out part of what that meant when I was guided to contact big colleges & send flyers with my website on them to post! What a great idea! College age people are just reaching adulthood & have questions about Life, & are more open minded about new ideas, such as some of the Concepts I am taught!

          What an incredible journey we are all on! We donít have to ďdoĒ anything! ďJust BeĒ & God has it all taken care of! Awesome! Peace, Love, & Joy to you! The best is yet to come! Celebrate who you are! You are perfect to complete the mission assigned you by God! Trust me! Iím the Messenger Pat.

E-Mail address is messengerpat@sbcglobal.net